The weight of the world

Mental Illness.

It's terrible, isn't it?  I have an enormous amount of respect for the people who live with it. Many people I love struggle with some form, but it is a struggle I can only begin to imagine.

On February 8th, Bell hosted Let's Talk day, and I think it's a fabulous step.  We shouldn't have to work to remove the shame of mental illness.  People with mental illnesses should absolutely be able to live their lives without feeling shame that they have an illness. We need to yell from the rooftops that it's OK!  You don't have to be ashamed. The people I know that suffer from this illness inspire me beyond words.


Mental Illness is like any other disease.  Sufferers should have the ability to disclose or withold the nature of their illness, as they see fit.  We all need to learn to be more supportive and try to be more understanding. Because it's hard isn't it? Those who don't suffer from mental illness can't truly understand what its like.  But we can accept. 


But that's not what I feel the need to write about. Instead, let's talk for a minute about the ones left behind. The ones who are holding it together. The foundation, if you will. It seems, to me at least, that we are often forgotten.


We are the person who sits at home or work, wondering how to "fix" the person they love.  The ones who desperately try to make it seem to the outside world as if everything is ok. Who put their needs aside, because they are terrified, terrified of what may come if they let their guard down for even an instant. The ones who may be struggling with the weight of it all, but believe that if they let go, even a little bit, that the person they're supporting will collapse. The ones who are walking on eggshells because they don't want to be a trigger.


Mental illness doesn't just affect the person who is afflicted, it affects everyone in their circle.  Family, friends, co-workers. Damage is done, and it can't be undone.  The hurts and wounds can be forgiven. Forgiveness is easy because we know that our loved one - who is so desperately trying to get better - has absolutely no intent to hurt you.  It's easy to forgive.

But it's not forgotten. It can't be undone.

You're left wondering, when you are the support, the foundation, the glue.....who's going to hold it together for YOU? The foundation of a house is only as solid as the ground it sits on.


And it's hard.  Really hard. Because here's the thing.  When you suffer from a mental illness, it's your illness, your symptoms, your story to share or tell. Or not.


But when you love, support and are trying to help someone with mental illness find their way, their illness is a great big part of your story,  but it's a part that isn't yours to tell.


To tell of the actions they have taken, or the thoughts they have shared, feels like, is, a betrayal.  You're so afraid that other people's perceptions of your loved one will change, because quite likely, the things you could tell them, WILL change perceptions. We're only human after all.

It's not always this hard. Somedays you know you can do it, other are filled with doubt.

So here's my request. If you know someone who suffers from mental illness, be accepting, forgiving and supportive.  And if you know someone who is their main support system, call them up, take them for a coffee, and ask them how they're doing. Let them know that you are there to prop them up when they need it.  Be their solid ground. Because often it feels like you are carrying the weight of the world.  And the weight of the world can cause stress fractures in your soul.

That's Love.

I don't just hate snakes.  I'm terrified of them.  Absolutely terrified. If I see even a picture of a snake, I get all sweaty and my heart speeds up.

I don't know why,  its not as though I was ever attacked by a snake.  Or that a snake has wronged me in some way.

Its just that they are so.....wrong. They've got no legs, and they still move around the ground. Wrong.

Anyway, last year Jordan and I took the kids to see the travelling version of Little Ray's Reptile Zoo. For the record, it is a pretty cool set up.  They bring these cool reptiles and animals, and the teach the kids about them. The kids get to pet them.  Fun, fun.

Last year, they even had a masturbating lemur.  Let me tell you, THAT was awkward.

But they also have snakes. Stupid, dumb snakes.

And of course, the kids wanted to go again. Hooray.

Last year I was able to hide behind my husband when they brought the stupid Boa Constrictor out. There are many reasons why its handy to have a 6'4" husband, and one of those is the ability to completely hide behind him.  Because we all know, if I can't see the snake, it can't see me.  Right? Right?

Well hubby was working this time. So it was all me....

So off we go to the event, which is in a hotel.  A HOTEL. Thats charming. Let me tell you now, if I was every in a hotel and found out a travelling snake exhibit was sharing lodgings with me......I would be demanding protection.

It costs $10 a ticket, which frankly I find pricey for a kids ticket, but whatever.  The kids want to see reptiles and I want the Mom of the Year award.

So in we go, and we get to see turtles and a great big alligator and snakes.  But get this, the kids refuse to pet the snakes.  Or any animal for that matter. 

Well I will be damned if I'm paying $30 for tickets to see a reptile petting zoo and no one's touching the snake. Hell, I didnt even get to see a masturbating lemur this year! Now it was enough that I managed to summon up enough bravery to go to the damn thing with out my "husband suit of armour", so I sure as hell wasn't touching the snake.

So I bribed the children.  Yep, bribery.  Mother of the Year, here I come.

There were these stuffed snakes that the kids wanted, and I told them they were too expensive. But not too expensive for bribery!! 

"Okay kids, if you go pet the snake, Mommy will buy you each a stuffed snake!"

Zoom, off they go!  I got pictures of the kids petting the snakes. The kids got their stuffed snakes.

I got to leave.

Win/Win, don't you think?

Reticulated Python.  Her name is Marshmallow.

Caiman

 Corbett and Zachary being eaten by a dinosaur